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All The Reasons Why

By:
Terryl (lvs2read)

For:
Vae (vae)

Fandom:
Firefly

Pairing:
Nathan Fillion/Sean Maher

Rating:
PG-13

Notes:
None

Summary:
Sean doesn't love Nathan. Or does he?

 
"Hey, have you seen this?" Sliding headphones to rest around his neck, Sean removes the headphone jack from his laptop so he can share his discovery with Nathan and glances questioningly over to where Nathan's sitting at the other end of the couch, intent on defeating whatever foe of the moment he's battling on-screen.

Sean's never understood the fascination for gaming that Nathan shares with Alan and Adam. As far as he's concerned, it makes no sense to spend hours pretending to ride around in the back of a jeep and shoot other players. Lord knows he tried the game when he and Nathan first hooked up, but after several annoying attempts, and a few minor arguments, they'd agreed that gaming isn't Sean's thing. Sean's been happy to leave the game playing to Nathan ever since, instead spending the time Nathan plays to browse the web and see what exciting things he can discover. Which reminds him… "Nathan?"

"Just a sec. Almost… aargh!" Sean tries not to smile at Nathan's groan of frustration, but it's hard. He'll never admit it, but a frustrated Nathan is rather adorable. Then he's not having to hide the smile as Nathan tosses the controller onto the coffee table and scoots closer to him, smiling back at him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Seen what?"

Snuggling up against Nathan's side - it's been almost two months and he still doesn't quite believe how good Nathan's embrace feels - he starts the video he found on the internet as he tells Nathan about his find. "Alan's saying there's going to be a sequel to Serenity. Listen."

"What? Again?!" Sean's surprised by the hint of annoyance in Nathan's voice. What's so wrong with the possibility of getting them all together again for another movie? Well, almost all of them.

His confusion grows when Nathan starts laughing, and he turns to look at Nathan, frowning. "What's so funny?"

Nathan's arm tightens around him, but he has no desire whatsoever to relax into the embrace. He's almost positive Nathan's laughing at him, but he can't figure out why until Nathan apologizes. "Sorry, Sean, but check the date."

His eyes follow Nathan's finger and he feels like a fool when he sees that the video was posted before the con he and Nathan did together back in October, the con where they'd seen each other again after months of no contact, the con where Nathan's hug had given him the confidence he'd needed to ask Nathan out on a date, the con where he'd also been behind the times in the news department. Too embarrassed by his ignorance, he can't look at Nathan as he runs a hand through his hair. "Oh. It's like the NASA thing all over again, isn't it?"

Nathan's eyes are full of sympathy when Sean finally looks up out of the corner of his own eyes. "Sorry to say it, but, yeah. Alan started that rumor when he was in Australia, and I set the record straight for the fans the day before you crashed my panel. Don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone about your mistake." This time when Nathan hugs him, he relaxes into it, one hand reaching over to rest on Nathan's thigh. But when he turns his head up to smile his thanks, there's pure devilment on Nathan's face, and the smile fades as he wonders what Nathan's going to say next. "Except maybe Alan."

Sean groans and thumps his forehead against Nathan's ribs. Of course Nathan will tell Alan. That way he'll be able to harass them both any time he tells the story. Sometimes Sean wonders just why he fell so hard for Nathan. "You're psychotic, you know that?"

"Yep. It's why you love me." Nathan's chuckle resonates under his skin, sending a pleasant warmth through him and lifting his heart, and, yes, that right there is one of the reasons he fell.

Not that he's going to tell Nathan that.

Pulling back and feigning puzzlement, he looks up at Nathan, one finger on his lips as he cocks his head to the side and frowns. "Funny. I don't recall ever saying I loved you." He pretends to think harder as he tries to keep from grinning. He's an actor, for fuck's sake, he should be able to do that. Right? He shakes his head and turns back to his laptop before he loses all his composure and spoils the effect. "Nope. Never said it."

Of course, that's not to say he doesn't feel that way. It's just that he thinks it's too soon to admit it.

Then Nathan's breath is hot against his ear, and Nathan's fingers are at the back of his neck, sending frissons of desire rippling through him. "No, you never have. I know you do, though."

He swallows hard, keeping his eyes focused on the computer screen, as Nathan grips the headphones and slowly pulls them off. "You do, huh?" Damn. He sounds more breathless than he'd like. "What makes you think so?" There. That's better. More controlled, less needy.

Nathan's hand reaches out, and he watches, mesmerized, as the strong, blunt fingers close the lid of his laptop. He knows - intimately - what those fingers are capable of, and it's all he can do to keep his breathing steady, especially with the fingers of Nathan's other hand still teasing the back of his neck. "For one thing, you laugh at all my jokes."

A quiet chuckle escapes as he surrenders the laptop into Nathan's sure grip. "Everyone laughs at your jokes. You're a funny guy." He catches his lower lip between his teeth as Nathan leans forward and sets the computer on the coffee table. "What else you got?"

When Nathan leans back and turns toward him, Sean naturally turns with him, and somehow ends up flat on his back, underneath Nathan. Not that he's going to complain, because that's another reason he fell. The total ease with which they move together is something he's never had with anyone else, and there's a lot to be said for the care Nathan takes not to use his larger build to overwhelm him. There are a lot of guys out there who wouldn't think twice about doing so.

There's a distinct twinkle in Nathan's eye as his fingers run through Sean's hair, massaging his scalp, and Sean can't stop the sigh of pleasure at the caress. "There's the look in your eyes when you think I can't see it. The one that says you can't believe such a handsome guy as myself is willing to put up with someone who's so clueless about things like gaming and sci-fi."

Sean laughs and shakes his head, reluctantly breaking away from Nathan's fingers. "No, no. You've got that wrong. That look says I can't believe I'm spending time with such a hopeless geek, even if he is vaguely good looking." He reaches up and cups Nathan's cheek in his hand, and so what if he can't help running his thumb across Nathan's lips. They're nice lips. Especially when they close around his thumb. Sucking in a much needed breath, he murmurs, "Try again."

There's a scrape of teeth on his thumb as Nathan opens his mouth to speak. "What about all the nagging you've been doing, trying to get me to 'live a more healthy lifestyle'? I suppose that's not because you love me?"

There's a smirk on Nathan's lips that Sean would love to kiss away, but that would just encourage Nathan, so he settles for grinning up at him instead as he slips his hand down to skim along Nathan's shoulder. "That's just common sense, not love. If you don't stop eating all that fatty food and start exercising you won't be around for me to harass. Can't have that, now can we?"

"Of course not." The smirk grows more pronounced, and there's something in the look Nathan gives him that tells Sean he's about to step it up a notch. Or maybe that's the way Nathan's leg is rubbing against his. "How do you explain the way you cuddle up next to me after sex? Like a thoroughly contented cat. I swear sometimes you're almost purring."

"I do not cuddle." He raises his eyebrows in mock affront, because, okay, maybe he does. A little. But… "Nor purr." He slides his hand down Nathan's back as he smiles again. "You just happen to make a convenient pillow."

Nathan's laugh brings an answering one from him before Nathan turns serious, snagging his free hand and bringing it up to kiss along his knuckles. "Well, then, there's only one reason left why I know you love me."

And that look on Nathan's face, full of tenderness and yearning, is the biggest reason he fell. Nothing else equals the way that look affects him. Not the humor, the empathy, nor the pure charisma of the man. Not even the sex. No, it's that look that curls his toes and takes his breath away so that he can barely whisper, "What's that?"

As Nathan brings their joined hands to rest on his chest, Sean waits and watches Nathan's face for any nuances he might otherwise miss, hoping without reason that Nathan will say what he thinks he might. "Because I love you; and if you don't return the feeling it just might break my heart."

Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Sean smiles with pure joy. Maybe it's not too soon after all. "Far be it from me to break your heart." He stretches up until he can brush his lips against Nathan's before letting his head fall back to the couch and slipping his hand up to thread his fingers through Nathan's hair. "You're right. I do love you." Applying the slightest bit of pressure, he brings Nathan's head down within kissing range. "Now shut up and kiss me, you big lug."

 Comments

 Left By:
Vae (vae)

At:
2007-12-25 12:31:38

 
Pushy Nathan and slow Sean and Nathan-pillow and hopeless romance, I love it. Thank you, Santa!


 Left By:
Guest (Anonymous)

At:
2007-12-28 03:35:51

 
This is so incredibly cute and sweet. Very enjoyable.


 Left By:
llaras (llaras)

At:
2007-12-28 03:36:44

 
That last comment was from me, the website is being tricksy. :-)