Not logged in: Guest

Cut Those Chains

Severuslovesme (severuslovesme)

Marimba (marimba26)

Battlestar Galactica

Katee Sackoff/Jamie Bamber UST


Thanks very much to Bessemerprocess for betaing!

Eyes scanning the party, she sees Jamie almost immediately. Even after a year apart he is still the first thing her eyes are drawn too. He’s weaving his way though the crowd, glass of wine in hand, half-dancing to the music in that dorky way he has.

Katee smiles for the cameras, pretends the flashes aren’t blinding her, and gives vague answers to the swarm of journalists trying to discover her show’s post-hiatus plotlines. Murmuring apologies she escapes inside and slithers out of her coat.

The crush of people already inside overwhelms her momentarily, but she squares her shoulders and strides into the ballroom.

Eyes scanning the party, she sees Jamie almost immediately. Even after a year apart he is still the first thing her eyes are drawn to. He’s weaving his way though the crowd, glass of wine in hand, half-dancing to the music in that dorky way he has.

Katee takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. It’s a Christmas party celebrating Dick Wolf and his many years of accomplishments, so of course Jamie’s here. Just as she is, though they are about as low as it’s possible to be on the totem pole.

She skirts the outside of the party, nods to her costars who are already here, and avoids catching Jamie’s eye. She’s surprised he made it; last she heard, the London cast needed to work on some voiceovers before they could leave for hiatus. He’s here though, smiling and laughing with a group of people Katee doesn’t recognize.

She grabs a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and ambles toward her producer, who’s holding court in the corner of the room. After laughing at her introduction as “the lovely Katee Sackhoff!” Katee fades into the background of the conversation. She sips her champagne and nods along as the group discusses green-lit projects and fourth quarter earnings and market shares. She wishes her glass held something stronger.

LA has never been her town – Vancouver will always hold that sharp little piece of her heart – but she’s become more comfortable here in the last year. She has, she reminds herself. She has. LA isn’t as bad as she once thought it would be. And the new show is fun and challenging, if not as familial as Battlestar became. It’s better that way.

A hand grazes her shoulder then and she turns and finds herself face to face with Jamie.

“Hi,” he says calmly. His eyes are bluer than she remembered.

“Jamie,” Katee replies, mock toasting him with her glass. They take two steps away from the group and Katee feels like they’re all alone in the ballroom, despite the crowd. She watches the light as it plays across his face and his newly – and still disconcertingly – blond hair, and wishes she didn’t still want him.

“How are you feeling these days?” Jamie asks, concern widening his bright blue eyes. Katee would be more touched if she didn’t know that Grace ran what amounted to a “Katee’s health” newsletter, keeping everyone informed. And besides, she’s fine. Never healthier.

“Good,” she says shortly, eager to change the subject. “I hear your show’s doing well.”

Jamie smiles modestly and shrugs. She resists the urge to punch him.

“How are Kerry and the girls?” Katee asks.

“They’re fine,” he says, eyes shifting so they rest anywhere but on hers. “Spending Christmas with Kerry’s parents this year.”

Katee raises an eyebrow but refrains from commenting. Jamie looks down at his feet and then back up at her face.

It’s strange, spending what is essentially cast party with Jamie but none of the rest of the Battlestar crowd. Katee longs for Tahmoh’s low chuckle and James’ sparkling wit.

“How’s Tricia?”

“Wonderful; they’re expecting a baby in July.” Katee sips her drink, eyes never leaving his face.

“That’s fantastic.” He smiles then, his first real smile of the evening as far as Katee can tell. She smiles with him, feeling for a minute that they are back in Vancouver, back before everything went to hell.

A voice shouts “Jamie!” from across the room, and Katee flinches. He shrugs at her and follows the voice through the crowd, towards a group of laughing people, all with British accents.

Katee thinks she recognizes the woman who plays his love interest on the new show and feels a knot of jealousy low in her belly. She wonders if Jamie stays late at work to play Guitar Hero with her too, whether Kerry’s voice changes when she asks about her.

People are making toasts, Sam Waterston first, to general laughter and applause, and various other Law and Order cast members next. They reference inside jokes and plotlines from almost twenty years ago and she feels very awkward and out of place.

Katee misses Tricia and Grace and Aaron and Tahmoh and Ron and David and James and yes, Jamie. Even though he’s here with her, he’s not really here with her. She misses the cold, drizzly days on the Vancouver set; she misses the round of holiday parties people hosted when December rolled around and exhaustion started setting in.

She misses walking into work and knowing that whatever challenges the day might bring, she could handle it.

But she’s not Kara Thrace anymore, and Jamie hasn’t been Lee Adama for even longer.

She feels like the new kid in school, the one people look at a little warily. She scans the room for someone she knows, but the crowd is homogenous, full of attractively dressed men and women she’s never seen before in her life. Jamie fits in with them like he has never been anything else, never been the Apollo to her Starbuck, never complained about craft services to her, never held her when she cried about being killed off. He looks happy.

It’s early still, but Katee decides that she’s made her appearance and can leave the serious revelers to it. She’d rather be home with her dogs anyway.

She thinks she hears a voice with a British accent calling her name as she slips out of the side door but she tightens her coat around herself and keeps walking.


 Left By:
jenn (surreallis)

2009-01-01 23:19:16

Oh, I like this a lot. I can feel Katie's wistfulness so clearly. And the melancholy over how everyone's moved on. Lovely angst.

 Left By:
Marimba (marimba26)

2009-01-02 01:04:36

Oh, I LOVE this! It's everything I could have hoped for, bittersweet and angsty. *sigh* Thank you so much, you did a wonderful job!

 Left By:
skripka (skripka)

2009-01-02 22:57:58

Wistful and melancholy, a wonderfully written story. Thank you!

 Left By:
anr (anr)

2009-01-04 03:30:06

Oh, this is lovely and bittersweet. Well done!