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Tweets, Tequila & Thee

Heather (gblvr)


Misha Collins/Chris Kane



I know this was your third choice, Q, but when I saw the pairing, I literally squeed out loud! Hopefully this is what you had in mind....

Thanks to friend M., for the quickie beta. :-)

Chris isn't sure if it's the alcohol or if it's just Misha, but this makes no sense at all....

Chris is drunk, but he's pretty sure he's not drunk enough at this point. He and Misha have been plunked down at a table for the last three hours, drinking and watching Jensen and Daneel and the rest of their friends dancing. He's been watching Jared trying to juggle a bottle of tequila, a plastic cup full of lime wedges and three shot glasses on his way back from the bar, and when Chris tunes back in to Misha's babbling, he has the feeling he's missed something.

Or he really is that drunk.

"Did you just say you're going to spend the holidays in a Sri Lankan prison because you bombed a nature preserve?"

Misha looks at him like he was a moron before he says, "Try to keep up, Kane. I tweeted that for the minions on Twitter. I know you know what Twitter is -- I follow you over there, even."

"Yeah...I know what Twitter is for, but I don't get why you'd tell people you're gonna be in prison."

"Because Twitter is an excellent way to fuck with people's heads, Kane, and I like fucking with people's heads." Misha wiggles his eyebrows and flashes that manic grin and Chris is actually more than a little scared.

Chris looks across the table at Jared, who just shrugs and pours a round of shots, before he pushes a pair of glasses across the table toward Chris and Misha.

"This isn't gonna make any more sense in the morning, is it?"

Misha just grins and throws back the shot.


A couple of hours and two bottles of tequila later, Chris is still stuck on the why -- why would anyone tell the world they were going to be in a Sri Lankan prison?

Misha looks fresh as a daisy, even though Chris knows he's had as much to drink as everyone else. Jared is passed out on the table in front of them (and who the hell knew he'd be such a light weight?) and the party is winding down, but he has to know.

"Yer gonna have to explain it to me, Misha. Why?" He's slurring the tiniest bit, but he's pretty sure he can still walk a straight line, so it's all good.

"'s like this, Chris. I plan on spending the holidays fucking like a bunny, and I'm pretty sure I won't have time to update, but the minions depend on me. I had to give them something."

Chris thinks about this seriously for a minute.

"Yeah, but--" He's cut off when Misha leans over and kisses him. He's so surprised he doesn't kiss back, and when Misha pulls back all he can say is, "Me?"

"Well, yeah, dumb ass. It's not like either of us will be fucking Jensen anytime soon."

Maybe Chris *is* that drunk, because damned if Misha isn't starting to make sense.


"Wow, Kane, I'm beginning to think you don't like me." Misha puts on a fake pout, and all of a sudden Chris wants to know what Misha's mouth would look like around his cock.

"Oh, I like ya all right, Misha. In fact, I'm thinking I'd like you even more if you were on your knees sucking me off."

"On my knees, huh?" Misha takes out his cell phone and types a text message before he slides out of the booth and heads for the door. He stops when he notices Chris isn't following him, and comes back to the table. "Are you coming or what?"


Misha grins. "Not yet, but you will be."

Chris ignores the catcalls and whistles as he practically drags Misha out of the bar.


It's way too bright and he feels like something crawled into his mouth and died and he isn't entirely sure where he is and hell, there's someone else in bed with him and holy shit, it's too fucking bright, so he pulls the covers up over his head so he can at least think.

Okay...he remembers the tequila and Jared passing out on the table and he remembers Misha putting lime wedges in Jared's ear. He can hear Jensen telling him to 'go get him' and laughing like a loon and pushing Misha towards Chris when Misha tried to kiss him. Misha -- he's pretty sure he remembers something about Misha in prison? Okay, maybe not in prison, because he's pretty sure Misha's the one in bed with him. In fact he knows it's Misha, because he remembers that yes, Misha's mouth did look good with his dick in it, and God, yes, he was as good as Jensen said he was. In fact, Chris thinks he might be better than that if the pleasant ache he can feel everywhere is any indication.

He's just drifting off again, enjoying the quiet dark in his cocoon of blankets, when Misha groans and sits up, taking away the blankets and the dark.

"Ugh, Misha, lay down already, it's too fucking bright for this shit."

"Coffee. Need coffee."

Chris sits up and puts an arm across Misha's chest, pushing him back onto the bed and trapping him with a leg thrown across his thighs. "Sleep now. Coffee later. And then, I think, more sex. Without the tequila this time."

"You sound awfully sure of yourself, Kane. What if I don't want to?" Chris can hear the barest hint of a whine in his voice, but he's finally remembered what Misha said about why.

"Whatever, Collins. You already spilled the beans -- you said you wanted to spend the holidays fucking like bunnies, so it's not like you're gonna say no."

Misha snorts at that and says, "I knew you'd come around. I'm sure my minions will embrace you as their leader's concubine."

Concubine? Chris isn't sure what to say to that, but it looks like he was right. This doesn't make any more sense, but at this point, he's not really sure he cares, so he wraps his arm around Misha's chest and says, "Well, this concubine needs some more sleep."

Misha whines a bit more about coffee, but Chris just ignores him, and they're both asleep again in a matter of minutes....



 Left By:
Guest (kellygirl)

2009-12-27 01:58:50

Loved it! Omg, Chris trying to figure out Misha's twitter message was hilarious. I love the idea of Misha telling his minions all about his concubine.

 Left By:
fluffyllama (Llama)

2009-12-27 07:49:28

Heh, this is great, and hilarious. And you know, I think that's just how it would happen :D

 Left By:
2009-12-27 19:12:15

This was awesome and hilarious. Thank you so much :)