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Anyone Can Do It

avon_09 (avon_09)






Anyone can do it. It isn't that hard. Fall on one knee, produce ring and wait for marital bliss. Yeah right! Three months and Jensen's still trying.

It was a fucking conspiracy, Jensen thought as he spat dirt out of his mouth. Whatever God or Gods that were up there were definitely laughing at him now. They were there, drinking their ambrosia and pointing at him, the douchebag in the designer jeans, making snow-angels (mud-angels?) in the sticky mud looking for a small folded square of tissue paper.

“Dude, why're you laying face down in the mud?” Amused. The owner of the voice was definitely amused.

Jensen, on the other hand, was one short breath away from telling him and the rest of the world to fuck themselves and their mothers. Jensen, the consummate gentleman, was not amused.

Have you ever tried to propose to someone? It shouldn't be that hard. A ring, a suitably romantic place, down on one knee and Bob's your uncle and Thelma's your aunt. At least it was for Jensen. Bob and Thelma were a lovely couple.

Only in this case, Jensen had done that before and it still hadn't worked out in the long term and he wanted, no he needed, this proposal to be special, different. Besides which if he went down on one knee he wasn't sure a) Jared wouldn't burst out laughing, thus ruining the moment and b) he would ever be able to get up again. Five years of his own stunts played hell on the joints.

However it shouldn't be this damn hard to tell someone you love them so fucking much you would give the world to make them happy and by the way, would they agree to marry you and live with you until your teeth fall out and Rogaine doesn't work any more?

Obviously, it was.

Jensen had been at this for three months. A quarter of a year. Twelve weeks. Seventy two days. Although he wasn't counting.

He tried in the middle of one the best fucks he had ever had. Ever. Have you ever tried to put a coherent sentence together in the middle of orgasmic bliss? He managed, “Jesus, fuck, Jay, I, you...” The rest trailed off into an incoherent moan of pure pleasure as he hung by his fingertips to the top of the door and was fucked into oblivion.

Strike fucking off the list. Way more important things to do when he was writhing on the end of Jared's cock. He would recommend it for stress relief though.

The second attempt was simple. A good steak, a few beers, and when they were both nicely chilled he'd pop the question.

Note to self. Gauge the mood of your partner before attempting this one. Jared wasn't listening. Jared was pissed. Jensen wasn't sure exactly what had upset his lover because he was worrying about actually making the proposal but by the end of the meal Jensen's lack of boyfriendly attention and concern was pretty much top of the list as far as Jared was concerned.

They drove home in silence and Jensen got locked out of the bedroom. Strike two.

Jensen tried to reason with himself why he needed to get married at all. They were happy just living together. Their lives were busy, happy and God knows, this man was the one, the one person in the world that made Jensen feel complete, whole. It wasn't exactly puppies and rainbows. It was more sun, moon, universe and fuck, Jensen wondered how he had been lucky enough to be given Jared. But Jensen knew that despite his acting career, sexual orientation (yes please) and dodgy clothes sense, the one thing he really wanted was to spend the rest of his life in a committed relationship with Jared Padalecki. So attempt number three was planned with precision and recruiting the help of Jared's mama and the thanksgiving turkey.

No, Jensen wasn't insane. Sherri Padalecki adored Jensen almost as much as her own children and if it involved love and romance and the future happiness of her kids, then she was in. The turkey didn't respond one way or the other, being stuffed, plucked and roasted before Jensen got it on board.

This time, Jensen was going to propose at the Thanksgiving Dinner. Both their families would be there, Jared would be happy with his loved ones and this time, there was no escape. By three fifteen Jensen would be engaged.

And he was. Engaged in speaking to God on the great white telephone. He spent Thanksgiving wrapped around the toilet bowl, his boyfriend stroking his sweaty head as he regurgitated everything he had eaten for the last month.

“I told you not to eat that fish pie,” Jared pointed out helpfully as Jensen gagged and spat his way through the afternoon. Jensen didn't reply. He was busy dying. When they rifled his pockets they would find the ring and then Jared would be sorry for mocking him. Jared was the worst boyfriend anyone could have, even if he had spent his Thanksgiving on the bathroom floor holding his puking boyfriend's head rather than with his family consuming large amounts of turkey.

Attempt four? We don't talk about it.

No, I mean it, you want to keep your insides on the inside? Then don't ask.

There was a delay before Jensen tried again. He was getting kinda leery of this whole proposal business. It being a trainwreck an' all.

It was almost Christmas before Jensen would even let the words marry, would, Jared, you and me, in no particular order even touch the periphery of his mind.

He was in his trailer while Jared finished up on set. The ring was in his hand, a plain platinum band inscribed inside with their names. He thought about putting it in a cake for Jared to find but with his luck Jared would probably choke to death on it.

Jared couldn't get away from him if he grabbed him now and proposed. Now was so not a good time. Jared was doing a difficult scene and needed to concentrate. He didn't need his cowardly boyfriend interrupting him while he was humping Ruby. Jensen thought about it for a minute or two. Jared's ex draped all over him? Hell yes, this was a good time to propose.

He covered the ring in tissue and placed it back in his pocket. He didn't want to be fiddling with a box in front of everybody. Deep breath, Ackles. Time to grow a set.

Jensen stepped out of the trailer, shivering as the cold winter air sliced through his clothes. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the steps. The steps covered in mud. The steps that the man with notoriously amazing coordination slipped on. His hands shot out of his pockets, cartwheeling frantically to retain his balance.

He ended up bouncing down the steps on his butt, pain shooting up his back as he landed on his coccyx. Taking a deep breath, the pain was excruciating, Jensen looked around. No one was close enough to have noticed his impression of a windmill – no one cared, he thought mournfully.

It took him quite a while to get to his feet, and that was only by swallowing hard against the pain. Nothing was going to stop him proposing to his man; come demon ex-girlfriend or a broken back. Jensen dug his hand in his pocket to hold onto the ring.

And that was when Jensen realized the Gods really did hate him because the small, carefully wrapped ring was no longer there. The pocket was empty except for a half-eaten packet of gummi worms and last week's (useless) lottery ticket.

He looked around frantically for the tissue, falling to his knees and feeling around on the cold muddy ground. It wasn't the fact that he'd lost the ring, the ring that he had picked out and then got inscribed, but the fact that he was so fucking useless at doing the one thing that would make his life complete. Jensen lay on the ground, ignoring the cold penetrating his bones and blinked back the stupid hot tears that pricked his eyelids.

“Dude, why're you laying face down in the mud?” Amused. The owner of the voice was definitely amused.

“Because I lost the ring. Because I wanted to propose to you. Because I've been trying for months. Because I love you. Because laying in the mud is cheaper than a face-pack. Because you were humping Ruby. Because...”

Two large hands hooked under Jensen's arms and hauled him to his feet. He stopped talking, partly from the pain in his back and partly because his gaze was locked on Jared's shocked face. Oh fuck!

“I... Jared... I...”

“Shut up,” Jared placed one finger under his chin and soft lips came down on his. Jared pulled back, his lips red and swollen from their kiss. “Jensen?”


“Will you marry me?”

Jensen stared at him dazed and confused. Jared had just asked him something important. He knew that.

“What did you just say?”

Ignoring the mud, Jared got on one knee in front of him and took Jensen's hand.

“Jensen Ross Ackles, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?”

“Uh yes?” Jensen could do this one. He knew the answer to this one. “Definitely.”

A large smile curved Jared's face. “Thank fuck for that. I'll sort the ring out later. Now, can I get up?”

Jensen tried to pull him up but the pain in his back was too much. “Oh fuck!” He breathed through the pain.

“Are you all right, Jen?” Jared looked at him, an expression of concern on his face.

“I think I might have damaged myself,” he grunted, one hand on his back.

Jared enclosed him in his arms and rubbed small circles on his back. Jensen rested his head thankfully on Jared's shoulder. Those pathetic tears welled up again and he rooted in his coat pocket for a tissue. His fingers closed around something hard and he drew it out.

It lay on his palm, a small square of tissue. Jensen stared at it unbelievingly.

Jared's lips twitched. “Is that it?” To give his boyfriend his due, he was doing his best not to howl with laughter.

Jensen nodded dumbly.

“May I see it?”

It was unwrapped in seconds and Jensen held it out.

“Put it on me?” Jared asked, his voice husky and raw.

Jensen could do that even with shaking fingers. He slipped on Jared's ring finger and entwined their hands together. “I am complete,” he said without thinking.

He looked up at the sky. “Thank you,” he said, to the Gods in their lofty home. Jared gave him a bemused look. He shrugged as he reached up to kiss his fiancé. He could explain later. Much later.


 Left By:
2009-12-27 00:46:41

Oh my god that was brilliant! It's seriously so awesome and I love it and you have the voices down pat. I just feel so horrible for Jensen and wants to hug him but at the same time it's so funny! Thank you so much! *hugs*

 Left By:
fluffyllama (Llama)

2009-12-27 08:18:33

Awww, poor Jensen. That was sweet and hilarious :D *applauds wildly*

 Left By:
Guest (Diane (Garvaldmains))

2009-12-28 10:18:59

That was gorgeous babe, absolutely gorgeous. I loved the tone of his thoughts and the narration.... loved it... HUGS XXXX